Sunday, January 10, 2010

Growing Up

When I think about my life, and all the things that I have done, and activities I have partaken in, it’s hard to believe that I was once a little girl who only wanted to build snowmen and play “Candy Land.” Now my interests have changed, and I no longer beg my mom to play “Candy Land” with me. But I guess everyone is like that, everyone outgrows what they once held near and dear to them, it’s just hard to believe how fast I have grown up! In another year I’ll be an adult!
It’s crazy, how when your younger, you always imagine what you’ll look like, and what type of person you will be like when you grow up, but time moves so slowly at that age, that you never feel like you’ll grow up. You never truly realize that one day you won’t be living with mom and dad anymore, and you will have to go out in the world. You don’t fully grasp that one day you’ll be the one comforting your child when they have the flu. Or at least that’s true for me, until now.
More and more lately I have been thinking about how I really only have about one and a half years before I go to college, and that thought is terrifying. After high school, everything changes. For the past fourteen years or so I have been doing the same thing each week for about nine out of the twelve months in the year. Wake up and go to school, various after school activity, go home, go to bed. Repeat. It is really hard for me to grasp that I am going to have to go to college where my life will be totally different from what it is now.
I remember, when I was younger, I used to think that I could stop, or slow time simply by sitting down, and pressing my feet against the floor or air, like the breaks on the car. Well, surprisingly enough, it didn’t actually work. Time didn’t slow down, or come to a stop, it went on, and I with it. Sometimes I wish I could start life over from when I was about five years old, knowing then what I do now. I know what I would do differently. But if I were to do things differently, I wonder how I would be different from who I am now. I guess I just hope that these past seventeen years have prepared me for anything that life throws at me.
“The hardest part about growing up is letting go with what you have been accustomed to and moving on with something that you haven't experienced yet.” (http://thinkexist.com/quotation/the_hardest_part_about_growing_up_is_letting_go/9908.html)
I really think this quote sums up a lot of my feelings about my future. But I know that even though sometimes it seems as though I walk alone, God is always at my side.

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